Life Coach – Raymond Aaron – Month 1
As I mentioned in my last post, I signed up with Raymond Aaron as a “Life Coach”.
Raymond teaches that there are 4 “steps” to setting the direction of your life which, when you have taken time to think about them and “define” them, will help you move forward and not be overwhelmed with everything you feel you have to do. Firstly there are your life missions, then your loves, your annual goals and your monthly goals. I want to start telling you about my monthly goals because although I did the annual goals and so on, I feel that as I’m heading toward the end of 2011, I’ll “practice” for 2011 and do it all “properly” for 2012
Within the Monthly Goals there are 6 areas that Raymond teaches you to set goals for each and every month. The first area to look at is “Messes”. A “mess” is anything in your life that is out of sync with you. So it may be a relationship, a situation or just a plain old space in your home/office. Something/somewhere that, when you think about it, you get that dreaded sinking, unhappy feeling
Well, my house has several areas that are in a real mess – the loft (attic) is full – we’ve been in our home for over 30 years so some stuff we moved in with is up there – untouched, along with the babies’ castoff clothes and equipment, right the way through to the teenagers’ “precious possessions” moved there when college requirements necessitated clearing space in their bedrooms.
So with Raymond’s program you learn to set specific targets for the month – each month. But not just any old targets for any old mess. You choose a mess to tackle that will move you toward your annual goals which in turn lead to doing what you love which in turn helps you achieve your life’s missions. However, being new to this philosophy, I jumped straight in to “clearing a mess” and chose….
… my “summerhouse”. When it was constructed, I envisaged this lovely place to sit on hot summer days, on the deck, with a drink and a book. Or, in the winter, set up some sewing or a jigsaw inside with a fan heater or more. Well, it’s turned into a loft (attic) overflow area where bicycles that don’t fit in the garage are dumped, leftover DIY materials, and, when my youngsters move from rented accommodation back to university accommodation – or home! – their quota of kitchen/living equipment and materials ends up in the “summerhouse”. So basically – I can’t get in to it, let alone do enjoy being there!
Raymond advocates that you set yourself targets for clearing these messes. Often when we set targets they are so un-specific that it’s hard to know if you achieved them or not. Or we set a timescale that is equally too broad. And we set targets that are either “succeed” or “fail”, no room for anything else. For example:-
Next year I’ll clear the summerhouse.
When “next year”? On the 1st of January? On the 31st of December? Sometime in the middle?
What does “clear” mean? Completely empty? Clear a space to do a jigsaw?
And how do I define “success”? Clear the lot? Clear 3 boxes? Take out 1 item?
Raymond advocates setting a 3-pronged target:
Minimum:- Something you KNOW, given your past performance, you can DEFINATELY do
Target:- Something you would really like to achieve and will make the “mess” less of a huge negative in your life
Outrageous:- Something you couldn’t imagine yourself achieving toward your goal
Now, this means that you will definitely achieve the first level of your target – and feel good about yourself! Which in turn will spur you on to attempting to achieve the second level – and feel really good about yourself! Which in turn will spur you on to attempting the top level – and feel great about yourself. And remember, we are talking about 1 month only – so there’s now no leeway to put it all off for a year or so, AND you get to feel great about yourself at least once a month. Furthermore, for each “mess” you set about clearing you must “delegate” something to someone – again, a specific “something” to a specific “someone”. When clearing a “space”, this can be asking someone to drive you to the dump, or help lifting the boxes – anything were you can see you could do with some help.
For the Summerhouse project, I set my targets as:
Minimum:- Find my sewing machine
Target:- Clear out boxes of unwanted toys
Outrageous:- Create a seating areas with chairs and coffee table
Delegation:- Ask sons to help carry the boxes to the car and then come with me to help unload them
So, how did I do? you ask. I did find my sewing machine and brought it into the house to sew some curtain linings – when I switched it on – it blew up! Well, I have had it for over 30 years and not used it in at least 5. And, mindful of “clearing messes” – I immediately disposed of it! So one success chalked up on my monthly target sheet!
I did ask my sons to help and so one Saturday they came home and helped me with the boxes! It was great! Because I’d tasked myself to ask them, I did – and was pleasantly surprised that they agreed without argument! Then we had a happy afternoon together “just checking” the boxes’ contents before taking them to the charity shop – only 1 item was “saved” by one son! So another success chalked up on my monthly target sheet!
I didn’t achieve the final, outrageous target – I can give you reasons but they aren’t really that important. What is important is that I set targets in such a way that I FEEL I achieved more than I didn’t and so I am good to move on to next month – when I will select a “mess” that will move me nearer my “loves” and “life missions”.
I have identified as one of my annual goals for 2012 to be “Earn $1,000 a month by December 1st 2012”. So, one “mess” that needs clearing to move me toward my goal is the number of email lists I have signed up to. I spend hours every day opening them, reading the (sometimes) really interesting and helpful information, following the links and the agonising over whether to buy the product or not. So, for the month of December 2011, my “mess” targets will be:
Minimum:- Unsubscribe from 10 lists
Target:- Unsubscribe from all lists to one specific email address (I’ll write the email address on my sheet but I’m not going to put it here!)
Outrageous: Unsubscribe from all lists to 2 other email addresses I’ve got (see, I told you it was a real “mess”!)
Delegation:- ummm that’s a hard one. Maybe ask my husband to remind me not to sign up to any more lists? What do you think?
What is the biggest “mess” bogging you down? The one that keeps cropping up in your thoughts all the time? And what are you going to do about it? What could be your Minimum, Target and Outrageous goals? Who could you ask to support or help you get to grips with this mess?
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